Seriously, now I'm too tired of feeling sad, too tired of crying and too tired of feeling down.
There's just too much shit happened that I cannot contain myself anymore but the only way to handle this is by moving on.
I just lost my job, lost my baby, lost the love of my life, I don't have money and I only have one week to find a new job to survive the next month. The guy that I have been supporting all this while has been doing better but didn't offer help that much. He's into his world now, spending money on gadgets but didn't bother to pay my money. But I not angry with that. The thing is, I can see that he is trying hard to improve, to build up his life. I'm more that happy with that. Hope he'll succeed in his mission.
Sometimes I hate the feeling of him with another girl but the truth is, I should just let it go. Yes, there's a lot of moments of us together but I know for sure, I won't cherish them that much.
I just want to start fresh, build up my new life and get over him as soon as possible.
Find the right guy for me and start to love myself more.
I hate how my life is like hell now, being at home feels so awkward. Me and him don't talk to each other that much because of his 'disappointment' towards my action. I hate to think of that disappointment when actually I'm the one who should be at rage towards him.
But the damage was done. And I should learn my lesson of life. If you love someone, don't overdo it until the time is right. Don't hope on impossible things and always love yourself first then only you let yourself love others.
Life is full of shit. If there's a moment that make you feel bitter, keep calm and press delete.
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